Skimming's the new Reading

Loftus has an interesting little bit over on Detour about Vampire Salami Sandwiches or something... I don't really know, I gave up reading for Lent.

I can't even look at a Bible, lest I anger the lord.

Big Matt Photographed in the Wild

Detour interviews Big Matt and Sult from MCR for their Meet and Greet Feature... which taught me that I look a lot like the Sultan right now... might need to loose my Red Beards of Spain... no offense... ellipsis.

What Can We Get Unnecessarily Upset About Now?

Apparently, the backblogs and angry emails have been read. The following is a statement Jasper, MCR and myself received from Anthony Morrow, Publisher of Detour last night.

After witnessing undue pressure put on bands, venues, sponsors, and
the fans, Detour has decided to postpone Rock City until summer 2008.
The festival will still feature the best in local Detroit talent
along with a slew of the national acts we love.

We're not in the business of warring festivals. We attempted to
broker a deal where both events could coexist, but this didn't work
out. Detour will not be a part of any event that divides artists and
their fans. We want people to play and attend our events and read our
site out of passion, or simply for fun, and not because they feel
like they have to take a side.

Thank you to the bands that agreed to take the journey and stand up
with us. We're saving a slot for you next summer.

And remember, if you're planning a festival in the coming months, let
us know so we can book something on the very same day.

Detour

Well folks there's basically two ways to look at this.

The optimist, the believer in democratic discourse and the power of the consumer would probably side with Fred "Sonic" Smith right now -- "people have the power."

The cynics, which ironically are many of the people participating in the democratic discourse would say, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

You can continue to speculate on the reasons why this decision was made, I've printed Tony's statement in its entirety and I don't know no more than you do.

But let me give you some conspiratorial thesis statements to run with.

• All the band's asked to play Rock City showed up at the plush Royal Oak offices of Detour and in a show of solidarity forced the mighty media mogul to sign the Magna ROCK!
• Hamtrack vowed to legalize the smashing of Loftus's passenger side window, in addition to the Loftus driver side smashing law already on the books.
• The Majestic Complex doesn't even really exist, it's all a dream matrix-stizz... also you just pooped in your matrix tube.
• Paycheck made them an offer they couldn't refuse... free matching track suits with BFF embroidered on them.

As you were Detroit, bitter, alone and on your couch seven nights a week.
I kid, I kid.
You know I love you guys.

All the Kids At School Are Talking About It!!!

This has the distinct flavor of a lame episode of Happy Days. Imagine the split screen with Richie on the phone with Webvomit and Ralph on the phone MotorCityRocks... the phone calls then balloon across the screen all Bye Bye Birdie stizz.

The main difference is instead of phones, it's blogs and no one actually speaks with each other.

Of course I'm speaking of the game of chicken Detour and the Metro Times have initiated with each other; both have scheduled local music "festivals" or "showcases" on the same weekend in March. Bottom line, I don't really care who planned their's first or who pissed who off -- it'd be nicer if one event rescheduled to a different date.

Since I have a feeling that isn't going to happen (but no real reason good reason to suspect that) lets take a look at the players.

On one side you have the guy who put together the past Blowouts and who started a website, hiring away the music editor of the Metro Times in the process. The Detour crew is also just coming off a successful launch party that was sort of a smaller version of the newly announced Rock City event.

I don't know what the Metro Times has on their side beside the name recognition of their publication and the Blowout event. Maybe they'll be able to put together a great list of bands in addition to the bars of random metal bands, country bands and terrible bands that all bring some friends to see them. But as I recall most of the cool kids skip these bands and bars on their way to see the side project of Pas Cal's bass tech (they have a bass tech, right?)

My initial reaction is that Blowout won't have good bands that aren't at the Detour event (or at least good bands that I haven't seen 5 times). I say this in part because Detour has Loftus and is run by a guy who's nickname is "Tony Blowout" -- I have this sense he knows how to run one of these events and has a connection or two. I think there is a question as to whether or not the Metro Times even has personnel to organize, plan and pull of this event -- its not out of the realm of possibilities, but they've got to prove it.

Success factor two, the whole issue of my personal laziness (I know I'm not alone here). As much as I like Blowout and trying to remember where the Stanislaws Proletariat Hall of One Legged Veterans is located and not confusing it with League of Undersea Masovian Mariners (hint the later has port holes!!), I am more likely to commit to the Majestic Complex, even if seeing a band in the Garden Bowl blows the entire Detroit’s Defying the Law Bicycle Club after a particularly long and sweaty ride.

Success factor 2.5, the Garden Bowl venue and sound experience may be roughly on par with the LUMM, and while I like Smalls, the New Dodge and even the double stage thing at the Knights of Columbus, the Magic Stick and Majestic are very comfortable and very good places to see and hear shows.

Maybe I'm jumping the gun, but my initial reaction is that Detour's Rock City going to put a hurt on Blowout and it's cool factor may not recover.

Unless of course Fonzie shows up and tells the squares in charge to straighten out their differences before he straightens them out for them.


That Fonzie... he's cool.

Detour Launch Party: Night 1 Thoughts

If you haven't clicked through to Detour link on the right yet, you totally should because they fill this interesting void intranets between the often mind numbing ADD optimism of Stereogum and the often mind numbing aspergers (pronounced assburgers) pessimism of Pitchfork.

Anyway, they're having a 3-day party to celebrate their emergence from journalistic gestation and unlike most of us, they got to choose their birth canal. Bursting forth at the Magic Stick last night oozing Sparks and High Life like so much amniotic fluid.... okay this metaphor is just getting gross... here's the bands I saw last night described in the lineage metaphor invented by Tenacious D. E.G. Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath and Molly Hatchet couldn't be here tonight, but they all had sex and would like to present their two headed love child Tenacious D.

Child Bite -- In the late '60s and early '70s it wasn't unusual to see an Ann Arbor or Detroit bill featuring the Stooges and Parliament. That pairing could almost describe Child Bite, because they definitely jam out with some funked out spaciness but never leave that grinding proto-punk grit. But the fact is these guys are just way too white and have that NYC art student vibe. Dad's the Stooges, but Mom is Talking Heads perhaps the true lords of albino soul.

The Sights -- I'm pretty the sure the Sights were born from the Small Faces having sex with the Faces. While the cynical asshole might view this as an implied Ronny Lane wank, you can't get too down on a band that hauls a Hammond AND a Leslie up the front stairs of the Magic Stick just to keep the rockin' authentic like.

Deastro -- It's hard for me not to identify one branch of the tree as The Postal Service. There's certainly others doing the basement electronica thing (tree town's Dykehouse comes to mind) but Gibbard's ultimately a pop-song writer and so's Deastro. In fact, I'm pretty sure Brendan Benson's the dad, even if he skipped town and might hope the beat boxes are just a phase.

Juiceboxxx -- First off... what the hell's going on in Milwaukee? Young skinny white rapper tempts you to say Marshall Mathers -- but it's more like an ill fated Eminem bio-pic staring DJ Quals featuring a soundtrack of artists who weren't quite good enough to make that Run the Road compilation. I should also point out he's a complete spaz and frickin' awesome.

Bonde Do Role -- I'm not sure they are actually real, or really Brazilian... if they do in fact exist they might be a couple of kids from Indiana who take their retarded brother on a cross country journey Little Miss Sunshine stizz making money by screaming nonsense into microphones over a mixtape of 80's hard rock hits that warped from being left out in the sun. The beats are straight Delicious Vinyl, hard rock hooks and old school beats. I've also been told that their Portuguese lyrics are Rod Allen filthy. So I guess they're Os Mutantes getting busy with 2 Live Crew to a Young MC album.... also better than it looks on paper.

See you tonight for round 2 and I'll be skipping Saturday (try not to be disappointed) for the Nummer/GP Jen nuptials... BOSS!!

DETOUR Magazine Launches

You could call one J.T. Loftus many things.

Critic.
High Life enthusiast.
raconteur (with the small "r," NATCH).
A scholar of rock...

And now it seems we should add to the list amateur entomologist and skate culture historian.

Busy dude.

Be sure to check out the rest of the newly launched DETOUR Magazine, streaming live to world from the seedy bowels of Royal Oak, MI.